Explanation of self loathing...

What is wrong with me?  Why can't I get back into this?  Why?!?!  I just want to flip a switch and be "healthy girl" again.  Instead I am eating like a monster and honestly...loathing myself for it.

Excuses...I'm 100% aware that Aunt Flow is about to rear her ugly head.  I have the zits and rage to prove it....  I think this is going to be a bad one and I'm just not making the best choices.  #nothappy

I think I'll have to go against doctor's orders and get back to the gym.  I may try to go early in the morning again...that worked last time.  Perhaps 5/530 am?  And once I have a kitchen I know my eating will get better...I'm craving healthier stuff, so that is good :)

I'll keep ya'll posted.

Regarding the weekend...even if I'm not happy with the way I look and eat...I am happy in general.  I had a GREAT weekend that included fire pit at my house, then soccer with the boys and  a girls night out Sat, closing out the weekend with the O's game on Sunday.  GREAT TIME!!!  Here are some pictures...

FOOD WAS HORRENDOUS!!!  and it continues :/

I'll keep this thing going even if it is a disaster...one day I'll snap out of it.  Hopefully before I weigh 1000#

TTFN